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This is the third week in Work On It Wednesday where we are talking about loving ourselves. If you missed the earlier posts, click on the Work On It Wednesday topic to the left and they should all come up.
I think that 2010 is a pretty hard era for women to live in, in all honesty. Although in the past women may have been more confined to traditional household roles, at this point in time we are pretty much expected to be a jack of all trades - and a master of all of them too! Instead of being June Cleaver, who was "allowed" (or forced, depending on your view) to stay home, take care of her family, and be the perfect housewife, now we are expected to be June Cleaver but with a full time corporate job that not only are we passionate about, but we are excelling in too. We aren't supposed to be stay at home mothers because we should want that career, but we also aren't supposed to work because we are supposed to be completely dedicated to our children. Basically, we can't win.
I think all of these societal and personal pressures that we place on ourselves make the situation ripe for criticism. We constantly feel like we aren't completely dedicating ourselves to any one thing, so we are not doing our absolute best in any area of our lives. It isn't possible to the dedicated housewife, mother, spouse, and career woman all in the same breath. Something has to give. Maybe that means that you aren't working a job that you are passionate about, or that you are never really going to climb the corporate ladder, because you simply don't want to. Maybe that means your house is a mess, and you don't have dinner on the table every night for your husband at 6pm sharp. Maybe it means it has taken you two years to lose your baby weight, or that you haven't had a date with your spouse alone in months. All of these things are okay, and it seems like as women we feel like we need permission to have faults.
The goal for this Work On It Wednesday is to begin to accept your limitations. Maybe you aren't ever going to have the cleanest house on the block - you know what, who cares? Your true friends that come over aren't going to, and who else really matters. Maybe there are days that you really just need a break, so you plug your kids in for a movie for a few hours. That's okay! It isn't going to hurt them. Accept your limitations, and don't beat yourself up for living your life in that way that you need. If there are things that you are not comfortable with and you feel like need changing, than ask a spouse, friend, or family member for some help. Ask for the support that you need, because people can't always see it or know how to offer their help. And be okay with asking for help, because no one can do it all alone. The biggest goal is to not beat yourself up though. At the end of the day, who are we trying to prove to that we can do it all? Only ourselves - so the sooner you can accept that you actually aren't able to do it all, the sooner that you will be in a happy mental place by asking for support from those who love you.